Trip type: Business

Airline: Delta

Route: MSP-ATL

I spend a lot of time bemoaning that the situation in which I recently found myself flying was the worst ever (Exhibits A, B and C)…and then I somehow manage to top it. Perhaps I’m just consistently melodramatic, but I prefer to think there’s just always a new echelon of absurdity that was heretofore unknown.

This morning, the ridiculousness was found in the security line. To be fair though, I should start by prefacing that my amusement level was pretty low to start. Due to the fact I was headed to a partner conference commencing at noon on a Sunday in Atlanta, I was on the 6:30am flight out of MSP. My previously noted frustrations with Sunday fliers (omg the lallygagging!) was in full effect and only heightened by the fact I had to be subjected to it whilst in full work attire.

So. Here we go. After once again forgetting to use the TSA Pre-Check lane, I found myself in conveyer gridlock behind, presumably, the most clueless people at the airport. (Yes, I know I already had a tirade last week about Googling how to travel correctly, but the seven people in front of me did not get the memo. I was also annoyed to have, yet again, managed to pick the lane that came to a standstill thanks to someone with more liquid than solid in her carry-on).

Luckily, Roger had my back. Roger was the TSA agent assigned to my line who clearly LOVES his job. He happily plucked the 20 tiny liquid bottles from the aforementioned woman’s carry-on and packed them into a baggie for her, all while explaining the historical background of the liquid sitch. He then repacked a man’s three bins into two (helpfully interjecting pointers on how to put one’s shoes just so in order to maximize space). Sadly for him, when Roger got to me there was nothing to fix. He saw my Delta luggage tag and commented that frequent fliers make his life so much easier. I felt pretty smug…

…Until the TSA guy at the other side of the conveyer asked, solemnly, if I was on my way to a funeral. Maybe it’s time for more color in my workwear.