Trip type: Business

Airline: Delta

Route: MSP-ATL

The expression “Sunday Driver“* kept popping into my head on last night’s flight to Atlanta. Granted, I’m perpetually in a hurry (in life) so any slowness makes me batty but last night was so ridiculous that I was convinced there was some sick twist on a flash mob happening all around me…except it didn’t have music or dance moves…just people moving slowly and stupidly. To summarize:

1. The guy checking status cards where you jump the line at Checkpoint Two cheerfully asked, “Headed home?” No, thanks for reminding me.
2. I was behind a woman in line for the full-body scanner who would not get out of the damn thing. TSA agent: “Ok, ma’am, you can step out.” “Are you sure? I don’t think it went.” He finally radioed up for them to scan her again just to get her out of it.
3. All the remaining southeast-bound flights for the night were in one clump together at the end of the G Concourse. I’m sure this sounds good on paper somewhere, but in practice, I’m giving it an F. If you are not familiar with MSP’s G Concourse, at the end of it are gates 18-22, all on top of each other. And every single one was being used. It was like a refugee zone filled with people going to Florida.
4. Everyone and her mother wanted to talk to me including in line at Starbuck’s where a 12 year-old struck up conversation by asking me, straight-faced, if I “come here often.”
5. And then, of course, the inevitable flight delay is announced. It was only for 20 minutes but in a waiting area of Sunday Fliers, havoc broke out immediately with everyone lining up at the counter to demand information and recompense for their mental anguish.
6. Although I lost the Battle of Elbow (honestly, I forfeited; the poor guy’s knees came right up to the seat in front of him), the flight was pretty uneventful. And then we landed and I counted three–THREE–people (and remember, these are just those I could see) who put their coats on in the aisle. In the freaking aisle. Because there aren’t 50 people behind you waiting to get the frack off this plane. No, no, take your time! I just want YOU to be comfortable on the walk up the jetway which is apparently through Siberia.

Arg. I’d also like to mention that we got in at 10:45pm. I think this explains (and justifies!) most of my irrational anger.

* One last note on Sunday drivers…they too were out in force! I almost got front-ended (can this happen?) at the toll booth on the Georgia 400 where someone realized he didn’t have exact change and had to switch to a lane with a cashier…oy gevalt.