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A Life in Plastic Baggies

~ Travel adventure & absurdity

A Life in Plastic Baggies

Category Archives: Un-fun Up in the Air

Becoming ‘That Family’: Adventures in Parenting and Flying

06 Friday Feb 2015

Posted by alifeinplasticbaggies in Un-fun Up in the Air

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Babies, Oy, Soapbox

Trip type: Personal

Airline: Delta

Route: BDL – MSP

Ah, the many joys of flying with a child. Where to begin? The ridiculous amount of items you have to pack? Standing in a never-ending line to check said items? Knowing that no matter what time your flight, you’ll disrupt at least a nap or a meal, if not both?

The biggest joy of flying with a child, of course, is the actual flying. We’ve flown with H basically every six months of his life: 6mos., 11mos., 1.5, and soon at just about 2 years. The wonderful thing about children this age is that they are continually changing, growing, and surprising you. Something that seemed insurmountable, unpronounceable, or simply unfathomable the day before is suddenly something executed with such practiced ease, you can scarcely remember a time you didn’t have a tiny person standing on your coffee table throwing crackers to the dog.

This also means that their demeanor, triggers, cheerfulness, and everything else can change in an instant, too. My child who was an absolute dream to fly with at 6mos. was a holy terror at 1.5…and this is our story.

En route back to Minneapolis from Hartford, we learned what it was to be “those people”. H had missed both a normal meal as well as nap time and things went downhill very quickly. It’s hard to comfort a child when you’re in a three-seat row and only have two seats. And when the seatbelt sign is on and you can’t get up. And when there is just no consoling to be had.

Basically, he cried for nearly an hour with nary a pause save to gulp air for more crying. We tried food, water, distraction, comfort, singing, iPads, a new diaper, pacing (once the light went off)…everything we could think of. I knew he was tired and I knew there was nothing I could do but wait him out: he’d either fall asleep from exhaustion or make me permanently deaf.

Luckily, the former won out. But not before I caught a few nasty looks from other travelers as well as overheard the woman in front of us ask the flight attendant if there was “any sign of it quieting down back there”.

Now, I’d like to pause here by saying that naturally, I have been annoyed by a child on an airplane. Who hasn’t? Particularly as I’ve aged and gotten closer to having a child of my own, I’ve tried to be charitable about it, especially when it’s a crying child (versus an under-supervised misbehaving child). That said, it grates on you. I get it. I’ve been there. I once flew from Amsterdam on a flight with a child who – I kid you not – cried the entire 8+ hour flight.

But here’s the simple truth I now know for a fact to be true: No matter how annoyed you are, the parent(s) with the child would do anything they possibly could to make it stop. The next time you’re annoyed by a child losing his tiny mind on your flight, please remember the following:

  • The parents know that it’s loud–it’s loudest next to their eardrum. Your exaggerated sighing is not helpful.
  • The parents know that it’s been going on forever–they are counting the seconds until the flight lands and they can escape your glare. Your reproach is not helpful.
  • The parents know that “some kids like X”–they have tried every trick up their sleeve and then some. Your suggestion is not helpful.

Here’s the thing about flying–it’s public transportation of a more expensive, annoying variety. You never know who’s going to sit next to you or what you’re going to encounter (this blog is testament enough to that). Like life, however, you have to try and make the best of it.

And for heaven’s sake, be nice to that poor parent. She wishes it was over, too.

At last.

At last.

Is there a doctor on the flight?

06 Friday Feb 2015

Posted by alifeinplasticbaggies in Un-fun Up in the Air

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holiday travel, Medical Emergency

Trip type: Personal

Airline: Delta

Route: MSP – BDL

En route to Connecticut for Thanksgiving with a squirrel-y 1.5 year old in tow (more on that in the next post…), we heard one of probably the top three things you don’t want to hear from your flight crew: “Is there a doctor on the flight? Or a medical professional? Please meet us in the back of the plane immediately.”

Although it was a small plane (2×2 – not an ideal size for corralling a child who has finally decided he wants to walk and is hell-bent on doing so at every opportunity), there were a surprising number of people who stood up including a general practitioner, an ophthalmologist (how many times do you think the eye doctor wishes it were an eye emergency so he could save the day?), and a couple of nurses. I chalk this up to the vast and experienced medical industry in Minnesota.

A young man in the back of the plane had a seizure and was laid out in the back galley of the plane. There was some debate about an emergency landing but luckily he came around and had medication with him as this was a preexisting condition. I would later see him at baggage claim and he couldn’t have been older than college-aged, on his way home for the holiday with his family. I can’t imagine how scary it was to have that happen while flying alone (or how terrible it was for his family to learn of the episode occurring while he was in flight) but I’m incredibly grateful there were medical professionals and a calm crew on hand to help out.

As it turned out, we dodged an even bigger travel bullet as we were flying the Tuesday of the Thanksgiving week. The next day the East Coast was walloped with a nor’easter that canceled thousands of flights. Although it seemed like more of my typical bad flying luck, it turned out to be a good thing we flew when we did!

Enjoying the snow!

Enjoying the snow!

 

Catch-Up Vignettes

24 Tuesday Jun 2014

Posted by alifeinplasticbaggies in Baby on board, Boarding Blunders, Un-fun Up in the Air

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all out disasters

Someone asked me the other day if the travel blog was going away since I haven’t updated it in a while. Have no fear; the domain is paid up and the travel adventures continue!

That said, I have been remiss in posting. So allow me to catch you up on my spring travel. Our vignettes’ theme is, as always, chaos.

Recap 1: MSP // BDL

For H’s second excursion by air, we were off to Connecticut for Passover. We hoped for a repeat of his stellar performance to and from LA in November but it was not to be. Unbeknownst to us, H was on his way not just to the East Coast, but to developing a double ear infection as well. It was as fun as it sounds.

Recap 2: MSP // SNA (by way of PHX)

Tickets to John Wayne (one of the loveliest airports in the country) were absurd so I was forced to connect through Phoenix. On US Air. I was pretty stabby by the end of this one.

Clearly I try to only ever fly Delta to keep all my status consolidated, but if I must fly someone else, I try to ensure it’s not someone that’s in the process of being acquired. Unfortunately, the fare could not be beat so US Air it was.

The flight to PHX wasn’t terrible except that I was fighting a terrible virus (thanks to living with a host monkey) and was just starting to slightly recover. Although we stopped in Phoenix, I was continuing on the same plane and we were set to depart 35 minutes later. I got off to stretch my legs and was unpleasantly surprised to find the cattle call that was the US Air gate area. Every flight was taking off within 10 minutes of each other, there were people everywhere, and the staff clearly was over. it. Magical.

Usually a boarding vulture, with my bags already on board, I was free to hang out and watch the chaos of the boarding process. I don’t know what was going on with my flight but everyone was a hot mess. People had no idea what they were doing; there were SO MANY tiny dogs in little bags; carry-on bags were absurdly large and over packed…this was the gate where they would film a reality show where people scream at the desk attendants because their flight is late.

I was so close to death’s (and sanity’s) door by the time I got to California that I booked a direct one-way ticket home on Delta instead of connecting back through Phoenix. At least this story has a happy ending.

The lovely Gateway Arch

The lovely Gateway Arch

Recap 3: STL // MSP

Away for a Junior League conference, I was on the plane bright and early to get home on a Sunday morning.

And this is literally the only thing I can remember about this flight so it must have been the best flight of my life!

Currently writing this post from somewhere over the Plains as I’m en route to California once again. A longer post will be coming to recap this one…LA-bound flights always have the most interesting clientele and the woman wearing leopard-print cat ears is just the beginning.

Pumps on a Plane

30 Monday Sep 2013

Posted by alifeinplasticbaggies in Seatmate Shenanigans, Un-fun Up in the Air

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Babies, tips

Trip type: Personal

Airline: Delta

Route: SNA-MSP

Apparently very confident after last week’s trip to Detroit, I was back in the air Wednesday morning and off for a quick trip to California.

Although the trip itself was short, a flight to Southern CA is no joke. As I knew I’d arrive and have to get moving right away (on both legs), I broke it to myself that I would have to pump en route. In an airplane bathroom. I did not take it well. If you find yourself in a similar situation, here are my tips:

  1. Plan ahead. Although I was pleasantly surprised to find the plane had an outlet in the bathroom (how have I missed so many opportunities to re-straighten my hair in flight?!), this is not a guarantee. Thus, I purchased a battery pack for the pump as well as eight rechargeable batteries and a battery charger. I also brought a small cooler bag with frozen gel packs. (TSA will check and they must be frozen solid at security.)
  2. Get over it. As I realized in my trip to Detroit last week, you gotta just suck it up and roll with it. I don’t like talking about bodily functions with strangers any more than the next person, but I forced myself to get over it. I told the flight attendants what I was doing so that they wouldn’t beat down the door wondering why I was taking so long or try to make me take my seat if there was turbulence. (I also told them as I hoped they might let me pump in their flight attendant area in the back of the plane but no such luck.)
  3. Make others get over it. On my flight back, I caused quite a back-up of people trying to use the bathroom. Of course I felt bad that I had made them wait so long but I don’t have a lot of options here (see #2 above about hoping to use the flight attendant’s space). I walked out to find about 10 men glaring at me so I just held up the little bottles and said, “Sorry, baby business.” A few turned red. A couple gave nervous chuckles. I think we were all friends after that but you know what? I don’t care. A plane is a flying bus and we’re all doing our best to cohabit and get to point B.  Sorry that you have to fly with other humans.

Aside from pumping adventures, there was some other flying fun as well. First was the head flight attendant, Steve, who gave a very funny little diatribe about shutting off devices at the start of my flight home: “Ok people, I need them turned all the way off. You’re not clever just turning it to airplane mode. Let me tell you a little story about a guy who didn’t turn off his phone last week. His seat neighbor turned him in and now he’s on the FAA watch list for two years. So let this be your cautionary tale because today is my Friday and I don’t want to fill out that much paperwork. Just turn ’em off.” Message: Received.

Also on the way home, I sat next to a very old woman. Very. Old. She was nice enough but probably shouldn’t have been left alone in a middle seat (graciously, her son and daughter-in-law were sitting up in first class. The son sort of offered to switch seats with her when we were about an hour away from Minneapolis. She declined.). She spent most of the flight reading tabloids (favorite headline: “I’m the real life Tin Man”) and loudly hacking and sneezing into tissues which she methodically shoved under her legs until the end of the flight when she carefully drew them out from under her and stuffed in an air-sick bag. It was amazing.

Our pilot told us several times that we were going to arrive early in Minneapolis which could only mean that something would happen to ensure we didn’t arrive early after all. Just when I was thinking he might be right, literally seconds before we were going to land (the engines had been cut and everything), we abruptly aborted the landing and pulled back up into the air. There was some nervous chatter as we quickly climbed back up into the air before the pilot came on to tell us there was a plane that took too long taking off and was still on the runway when we were supposed to land. Neat. He also told us (once we were safely on the ground 10 minutes later) that it was only the second time in his 35-year career that had happened. Double neat. Please bookmark this under “Things I never want to hear from my pilot.”

At any rate, home once again, I’m looking forward to staying put. At least until next month. Which is tomorrow.

Tokyo Part Two: Turbulence, Tuberculosis and Time-travel

28 Friday Dec 2012

Posted by alifeinplasticbaggies in Adventures Abroad, Un-fun Up in the Air

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vacay!

Trip type: Personal

Airline: Delta

Route: NRT-MSP

Home again, home again, jiggity jig…

Offering at one of the many shrines we visited

Offering at one of the many shrines we visited

Although the flight back was not quite as long as the flight taking us to Japan, it still felt like a small lifetime. And it wasn’t without some anxiety (naturally).

Turbulence

I used to be a lot more scared of turbulence before I started flying a lot. En route from Geneva to Cannes I was pretty sure I was going to have to actually use the emergency door at my right. Spring break 2005 on the way to Miami I was convinced I’d be in some ‘Spring Break Tragedy’ news special. At any rate, I’m much calmer now.

An amazing, larger-than-life Buddha statue

An amazing, larger-than-life Buddha statue

Usually. The flight home from Tokyo was crazy turbulent. E didn’t think it was so bad but whenever they make the flight attendants sit down and forbid you from getting up for 90 minutes as you’re rolling around somewhere over the Pacific Ocean, I don’t care what anyone says: it is so bad. All I kept thinking was that it was all my fault for scoffing during the flight safety video where the redheaded Delta spokeswoman tells you where the emergency rafts are in case of an unlikely water landing. Sigh. As you can tell, however, we did end up surviving. And I was finally allowed to use the bathroom.

Tuberculosis

As evidenced by this blog, I love to travel. I really do. That said, I loathe trying to sleep on international flights. There’s nothing like that anxiety of knowing you’re going to arrive, either at your destination or back home, and be a hot mess of a jet lagged zombie. I get myself all worked up about trying to sleep–or at least rest–and am usually unable to get more than a solid hour of sleep. Considering I catnap through every take-off, it’s astounding to me that I can’t will myself to sleep.

On our flight home, I was very tired. So tired that I thought I might actually con myself into some sleep. Alas, this was thwarted by the gentleman behind me who I swear had tuberculosis. He was hacking and wheezing like nobody’s business and was doing it at just the right interval where you would have lulled yourself into thinking he was going to finally shut up only for him to start the nasal chainsaw all over again.

Needless to say, there was no rest for the weary.

Tokyo Tower - strongly resembles my favorite tourist attraction!

Tokyo Tower – strongly resembles my favorite tourist attraction!

Time-travel

My favorite part about international travel is that I feel like I’ve found a rip in the space/time continuum. It makes me absolutely giddy to think that we left at 3pm Tokyo time and landed in Minneapolis at 11am on the SAME DAY. It seriously never gets old. Science!

Sorry for the delay on this post; I know you’ve been dying for the wrap-up of this trip. I’m actually typing this last bit from the Delta lounge in Concourse C of the MSP airport (which seems oddly appropriate)…figured I had to finish this before we take off again–in 75 minutes!

Hope you’ve all had wonderful holidays–more travel nightmares to come in 2013! (And maybe even 2012 depending on how this morning goes.)

Holding Pattern

22 Sunday Jan 2012

Posted by alifeinplasticbaggies in Un-fun Up in the Air

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Tags

Delta, Intrepid E

Trip type: Personal/Business

Airline: Delta

Route: MSP-ATL

The more I fly, the more I’m subjected to hearing the same annoying phrases over and over again:

  1. Enjoy your flight! (Comment below if you have actually enjoyed a flight in the last year.)
  2. If there’s anything we can do to make your flight more comfortable, please let us know. (Ok, I’d like a wine IV and to not have to sit next to, um, anyone.)
  3. We apologize for the delay and will let you know more information as we receive it. (Sounds nice and reassuring but is sure to cause panic in 10 seconds flat.)
  4. We’ll just be sitting on the Tarmac for a bit until a gate/a de-icing machine/traffic control can accommodate us. (Shoot me now.)

And then there’s the phrase E and I heard this weekend on our flight to Atlanta: We’ve been put in a holding pattern.

Everything started smoothly enough…we had a 9am flight to Atlanta which departed on time and with little difficulty (although I was quickly reminded how slowly weekend flights board compared to my usual 6am Monday flights). We were just about to start descending for Atlanta when the announcement came:

“Ladies and gentlemen, due to bad weather in Atlanta, air traffic control has put us in a holding pattern for the next hour or so. Please remain seated during this time as the weather may cause unexpected turbulence. We’ll let you know if the situation changes.”

Um, ok. The iPad had plenty of battery so I wasn’t overly concerned for the moment. About a half hour later, we got the next update:

“There’s been a slight break in the weather so we’re going to try to land. Air traffic control thinks it can land three or four planes. Flight attendants, please prepare for landing.”

Well this looks promising! Then I see three enormous lightning bolts out of my window.

“Well, we clearly haven’t landed and it looks like we won’t soon…we’re headed back into the hold. Please remain seated.”

Sigh. When the updates get terse and to-the-point, you know everyone’s on her last nerve. Luckily, it wasn’t too much later until we got the final update:

“There’s been another break and we’ve been cleared for landing.”

Finally. We landed very fast but without much fanfare, and proceeded to have a great weekend in Atlanta (after years of flying through the Atlanta airport, I finally got to visit the Coca-Cola museum (highly recommended!)).

All of which brings me to my favorite saying; does anyone remember the “We love to fly and it shows” Delta ad campaign from way back? I sure do.

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  • Becoming ‘That Family’: Adventures in Parenting and Flying
  • Is there a doctor on the flight?
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